сряда, 29 август 2018 г.

Thinking (Part 2) (VG)

by DeYtH Banger


You think and think and think and think, in the end of the day you bother your mind with plenty of shit...


- Can I do this?
- This people hate me!
- This people saw me stealing... (it wasn't really a stealing... I just getting my part of the deal... sorry... but I am on low budged income any money are good to come into my pocket...)
- I can't talk to this girl... (because I need to piss... probably after this..)
- I am really not in the state to talk to this girl (... okay... tomorrow is a new day... new day for new resolutions...)
- I am not really ready... (okay... I have plenty of time to do my stuff... so I will leave the girl aside probably another year I am going to start the business... with girls... not really business... but the thing with talking to girls)

- They hate me (No... they don't... they just see me as very cool person and one a junkyard bitch is going to do with me?)
- He has changed (Oh... god... it's a new life... oh ... god.. is it possible?)
- I won't talk with them... beause they are not anymore my friends (I am very confused... so when then?)
- I won't hit my mom...  but I don't promise to don't kill somebody (It's kinda of irony... but ev everyday I a visualize killing somebody... with a chainsaw or even burning them down...  IT'S AIN'T CREEPY)

- They think that what I am saying is creepy... (Oh god... they have just forgotten my life and who I was and who I were... so sad... and WHAT DO WE DO IN SUCH CASES?)
- The cashier is staring me (oh god... what now... money... you are fucked up psycho or what?... YOU GONNA TELL ME YOUR DARKEST DESIRES...)
- I just don't get it why!? (... Really why people tell me some fucked up shit about themself... like somebody likes a BDSM porn others like GILF AND MILF... oh god and the categories go and go on and go and HOW THE FUCK OFF DO YOU THE WHOLE DEAL?)
- I am not some kinda of ironic and visualistic biatch... (But why I see myself... in suicidal level...)



The fun part of this whole thing... is that I should take my life in my hands... I should do something about my life... just take a knife and cut of few of fingers and the most worst which could happen is to do from blood lost... 

But logically blood lost is going to take something about like a 7 or 12 hours... sounds like paintful job TOOOOOO ME!


I feel sad that I just don't do what my depression side suggests for my best survival...

LIKE FOR EXAMPLE TO THROW MYSELF RIGHT FROM THE WINDOW
SO LOVELY DEADLY... SARASTIC POSITION... NOTHING MORE THAN A DEAD LABEL IN NIGH


- And who really cares about me.... ( I am not some fucked up person... but who really cares about me... when my problems push up I  have lost some of my friends with my jokes...)
- Come on what's bad about knifes and serial killers...  (That you don't have a way to read jokes and you read in a dry way... even throwing few smiley faces won't help you to cope with the joke.... some of the material is harsh and you should know...)
- Okay... I won't tell them that... ( I am not really interested in telling my friends that I am writer... I just don't want them to know... please and fuck jeez....)
- My day is all down... (It's really all down.. I know what I am going to do but... not sure should I do it... I hate my grandmother... morel likely interested in slicing her fingers... one by one... I hate my grandfather more likely to see him on the news... with a message written

"BASHED HEAD.... 1000 STABS ... . A real genius kid goes to next beast level..."

or okay... I gonna write this down on a paper... I hope somebody decides to take this offer serious...)

- ANd what to tell them... ( I am not really feeling good in exposing what really happen and my  emotions... WILL THEY LAUGH?... wHAT REALLY TO DO?... wHAT IFF THEY GET FUCKED UP?.... WHY THEY SCREW ME UP?)

- Too much ... (It's just too much... too much promises to much hangouts... to much meet up and oh.... now... oh... now... what now... no more hangouts no more promises... oh god both ends is harsh enviroment...)

- Really ... (Why people read a clinical psychology books... I read them because it's written stuff like some believes are based upon non ration behavior... sounds great in words but the mind will it bother to take this thought?)



Blood vessels lies and what next?
It doesn't mean that she wants to get fucked... it doesn't mean that she is interested... she is fat... come on... fatty kids are not going with me... come on... who tha fack brough the fat kid... probably yeah it's creepy what I am saying... but in the night if you remove your clothes I will think that you are beaf or a pork in my bed... I don't worry if you wake up in my stomache.

 I am not trying to take your life...
I am just going to take your guts for life..
I want to kill your optimistic
I want to kill your views at all...

NO more life
No more motivation


I am sick,

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