вторник, 10 април 2018 г.

Depression

I feel depressed it's not because time 
goes fast... if you stare in time it stops... if you don't
watch it swipes... under your fingers.


==========================


This is fact

==========================


I always get worried becuase of not doing what I want 
to do... but then I do what I "should" do... thats the moment when
I don't get upset... but too much from it
...

one moment it creates damage...

...


Life can be simple... but you can't bind it
...

bind e +simple

- Sounds as stupid as you see the command... very typical
command for cs 1.6.



==========================

This is fact

==========================




Social media... sounds like a social place... but it's not a social place... it depends from which corner
you look this whole thing from a pov of the deepest and darkest corners what you gonna
find it won't make you happy.


But within each social site there is something which stays behind it which says it's possible to get happy...

If you stay enough
If you make enough friends
...

YOu can't also not get bored
Life is awesome
Life is cool

...

But they forget to say

...

Too much of it causes anxiety, 

You ain't gonna get social
you gonna get anxious, depressed
...


Soon you will desire to kill yourself,

...


iF NOT NOW... THEN TOMORROW... I HAD THE DESIRE...

NEVER VERY NEAR TO KNIFE... BUT I HAD THAT THOUGHT
IT'S LIKE THE MOST WORST DREAM EVER CAN HAVE ONE HUMAN BEING.


In a such place there is always I hook... which makes you get hooked instantly... 

it's not necessary.... it just needs to play something

...

Just sometimes... then little more often and then always.

...

I was out of social media


SKYPE
FACEBOOK
TWITTER
...

Nothing really changed...


...

Nobody really said anything new in skype... in facebook


saying


100000 times "Hi" or whatever... most people won't reply
...

Other will and few of them will say...

"WHO DA FACK ARE YOU?"
...


Twitter

...


I have 247 followers... and I don't feel deeply fulfill, but social media promises... if you have social media you gonna get deeply... fulfill.


...


I want to do something... but then deny it... and then cry about it... like some kinda  jerk.


It's not Billy... it's Hilly the other part of Billy....


...


And one of the next version of hello.....

is FUCK YOU




понеделник, 9 април 2018 г.

Chapter 2 - 2 Steps (Motivation)

Review: Compulsion

Compulsion Compulsion by Jonathan Kellerman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

We know this book where is going to go...

...

First starts with

"She loved breaking the rules"

...

"Talking to a stranger"

...

Okay... we got it... some type of stranger is going to use her in his favor. After few pages what happens is ...

"Was she any type of trouble."

...

Okay... Enough

...

This work sucks!

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неделя, 8 април 2018 г.

Review: Sense of Evil

Sense of Evil Sense of Evil by Kay Hooper
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"April 6, 2018 –
40.0% "16 out of 22

....

Her style reminds me for Jeffrey Deaver"
April 6, 2018 –
40.0% "Probably it's bit evil the whole point and the thought about it."
April 6, 2018 –
20.0% "In the world which we live people think that they can do it better and they are damn good... until they face it... fail it and they in the end give up."
April 6, 2018 –
20.0% ""“I’m not distracted. She has to be next.”

The other one’s more dangerous. That agent. Isabel. She’s different. She sees things. We need her out of the way.

“I can do her later. This is the one I have to do next.”

This one can’t hurt us."

- All characters.. think that they are greater and better than whats going to happen... until they face it... Reminds me for today's world...."
April 6, 2018 –
20.0% ""I’m the only one who’s telling you the truth.

“I don’t believe you.”

That’s because they’ve twisted your thinking, those women. Those blondes. They’re making you weak.

“No. I’m strong. I’m stronger than they are.”

You’re a wimp. A useless wimp. You let yourself get distracted.""
April 6, 2018 –
20.0% "2 out of 22

...

At the beginning it sounds like a typical work... but the more deeper you go the chapters get odd and some of them Kay Hooper middle them by using words like...

"He wondered idly if she had any idea the last item on today’s list was to die."

- Typical style of James Patterson"
April 6, 2018 – Shelved
April 6, 2018 – Started Reading"



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събота, 7 април 2018 г.

Day 1 out of 7

1) Don't Care
2) Fast Talking


1) Don't Care
- Stopping to care what others thing
    Stopping to sabotage my process... because somebody is thinking that it's wrong.
...

If I start thinking what's wrong... in the end I will end up in the place where they are, not enjoying life

because I feel like worthless shit, not doing what I should because I don't want to fail, trying to be perfect  without even trying to do any type of practice or exercise... why because I think because others think... that others  thing... that what I do is wrong.


So what?
...

if I am crazy?
...

It's not time to fulfill what others thing is wrong and what's good... it's my life and I choose what to do and what not to do.

I always was ending up with disappointing somebody... If my mother wanted to be a sex prostitute or to go out my grandma wanted me to stay home to less do that.. .which means to go with this type of girls... to stop being such type of person and so and so on and so on and wanted me to be a person who is home, serious.




Our own worst enemy
Our mind and mood are keenly sensitive to the world around us. Distressing life events—a bad breakup, unemployment, the death of a loved one—often leave us rattled or sad, of course, but our daily routine and patterns of thinking also have a big impact on our mood. Bad habits like skimping on sleep, drinking too much, or nursing grudges can undermine our mental health, whether that means a brief episode of the blues or full-blown depression and anxiety.

Happily, many of these mental pitfalls can be avoided. We break down 12 of the most common and provide tips for how to steer clear.


2 of 13

Avoiding exercise
Why it's harmful: In addition to keeping your body in shape, physical activity plays a key role in propping up mood; it can even help ease the symptoms of depression and anxiety, research suggests. Regular exercise appears to have a positive effect on brain chemicals and mood-related hormones, and it may confer psychological benefits (such as increased confidence) that foster better mental health.

What you can do: If you struggle to stick to a workout schedule, it might be too ambitious. To start, try setting aside 15 to 20 minutes per day for a brisk walk. Studies have shown that even modest exercise routines are associated with improved mood.


3 of 13

Ignoring clutter
Why it's harmful: Even if your pack-rat tendencies don't rise to the level of hoarding, unchecked clutter in your home can be a subtle source of psychological distress. "Clutter makes us feel weighed down, both literally and figuratively," says Dawn Buse, PhD, a health psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center, in New York City. "It has been shown to be related to depression, anxiety, and even weight gain."

What you can do: If you haven't used something in 12 months, give it away, Buse suggests. And instead of spending your money on more stuff, consider saving up for a special dinner or vacation. Research shows that these so-called experiential purchases actually buy us more happiness than material goods do.


4 of 13

Not sleeping enough
Why it's harmful: Anyone who's missed out on sleep thanks to a deadline or bawling infant is familiar with the irritability, stress, and gloom that can set in the next day. If sleep deprivation and disturbances become chronic, they increase a person's risk of developing depression or anxiety disorders.

What you can do: Prioritize sleep and practice healthy bedtime behaviors, such as limiting caffeine and alcohol in the hours before bed. It's also important to curb your computer, tablet, and smartphone use late at night, Buse says; the blue light emitted by these devices suppresses the sleep hormone melatonin and can disrupt your circadian rhythm.


5 of 13

Drinking too much
Why it's harmful: Alcohol depresses the nervous system, slowing you down and potentially dragging your mood down as well. What's more, drinking too much alcohol in the evening—though it may initially make you sleepy—tends to cause nighttime waking and less refreshing sleep, Buse says.

What you can do: Limit your intake to "moderate" levels, which doctors define as one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men. If it's a special occasion and you do choose to exceed those limits, be sure to pace yourself, count your drinks, and alternate alcoholic beverages with water.


6 of 13

Keeping up with the Joneses
Why it's harmful: Constantly comparing our income or possessions to those of others is "one of the reasons Americans are not as happy as people in other countries," Buse says. Coveting your neighbor's riches tends to breed dissatisfaction, and it's also a bit irrational, since the relationship between income and happiness is actually much weaker than we think.

What you can do: Focus instead on being grateful for what you do have. Studies have shown that simple exercises—such as keeping a "gratitude journal," or writing a letter to a loved one—are associated with greater satisfaction, optimism, and happiness.


7 of 13

Obsessive thinking
Why it's harmful: Turning the same thoughts over and over again in your mind sends your body and brain into the stressed-out state known as fight or flight, Buse says. Your breathing and heart rate quicken, and your body releases the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, all of which takes a toll on both your physical and emotional health.

What you can do: Learn to recognize the thoughts you dwell on most, and train yourself to avoid those obsessive pathways. Deep breathing helps, as does snapping yourself out of it—literally. "Put a rubber band on your wrist as a reminder and every time you're ruminating, pull it back a little," Buse advises. "It's a reminder to stop ruminating and change your train of thought."


8 of 13

Bottling up anger
Why it's harmful: Anger and frustration are completely normal reactions to life's inevitable challenges. But when you suppress those feelings and let your grudges and grievances fester, it can backfire. Several studies, in fact, have found that suppressed anger and angry brooding—a type of obsessive thinking—are associated with depression symptoms.

What you can do: It's important to express negative emotions, but only in appropriate ways. If you can communicate your anger in an assertive but calm manner, you're likely to feel better afterward. If that's not an option, your best bet might be to just let it go: Research suggests the act of forgiving confers mental health benefits.


9 of 13

Working too much
Why it's harmful: When our work-life balance is out of whack, we tend to get stressed-out and we increase our risk of more serious mental health problems. A 2011 study of British civil servants found that working 11-plus hours a day (versus a more reasonable 7 or 8) more than doubled a person's odds of sliding into depression.

What you can do: Think carefully about your values and priorities and make sure your schedule reflects them, Buse advises. And set aside time for family, friends, and hobbies the same way you'd commit to a meeting at work. "It sounds kind of funny to plan for fun or relaxation, but making it protected time is really important," Buse says.


10 of 13

Staying inside
Why it's harmful: Holing up inside deprives us of two mental-health essentials: vitamin D, which is produced by the body in response to sunlight and has been shown to protect against depression, and nature itself, which appears to soothe us on a subconscious level. In a recent study, brain scans showed that people who walked through parks were calmer and less frustrated than when they walked on busy city streets.

What you can do: Get outside! If you work in an office, take a walk—in a green space, if possible—or sit outside during your lunch break. "Even a pretty small amount of sunlight—15 minutes—can really, really help," Buse says.


11 of 13

Social isolation
Why it's harmful: Although withdrawing from friends and family is a common symptom of depression and anxiety, social isolation—and especially accompanying feelings of loneliness—also increases the likelihood of experiencing those mental health problems. By the same token, strong relationships tend to protect against depression and promote happiness.

What you can do: Even if you're preoccupied or not in the mood, make an effort to connect (or reconnect) with friends and loved ones, even for just a few minutes over coffee. Social interactions like this are uplifting—and they often end up being more fun than we expect, experts say.


12 of 13

Perfectionism
Why it's harmful: Trying to meet an unattainably high standard of perfection in everything you do, be it tonight's dinner or tomorrow's work presentation, is a recipe for disappointment and low self-esteem. So it's not surprising that perfectionism has been linked to a suite of mental health problems including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders.

What you can do: Instead of perfectionism, aim for what mental health experts call healthy striving. That means setting more attainable goals, welcoming mistakes as avenues for learning, and, most of all, enjoying the journey, not just the destination.


13 of 13

Pessimism
Why it's harmful: How hopeful and upbeat you are about the world is something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Pessimists who consistently view the glass as half empty appear to be more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, and other health problems. Optimism, on the other hand, seem to help with coping and protect against those same conditions.

What you can do: Practice focusing your thoughts on positive things. (A gratitude list can be a powerful tool here.) And if you're not feeling happier, fake it till you make it. "Studies have shown that smiling can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future," Buse says.


So after all staying home is not good as you think... okay... it's kinda safe zone for some stuff... 


...

So after all and even if you go out...

again you are in a big danger,

...

- Somebody could want to kill you
- Somebody will go and use you to get money
- Somebody is going to abuse you
- Somebody is going to screw you up
- Some bad stuff are going to happen

...

But even if you choo safe zone... you are again as safe as you think... we talk that those guys


Image result for climbing a building


Are insane and crazy... but what we do in the end we put ourself in mental torture

...

But we don't do anything... we are afraid of getting high on stakes... we like to play safe... if we go out of our safe zone we feel bad.


...


2) Fast Talking


- What i want from this life is goals and goals... not to live a life in a safe zone + even play safe... life is not meant to be played safe.


...

if you don't have goals... after few years you gonna end up in a miserable hole.

...

Feeling sorry that you wasted your time and saying and moving it for later
...

We won't do it now... but tomorrow... later... after few seconds...

and seconds becomes days... later become years and tomorrow... is going to be never ever.



Review: The Night Killer

The Night Killer The Night Killer by Beverly Connor
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

"April 6, 2018 –
70.0% "100 out of 118"
April 6, 2018 –
50.0% "55 of 118

...

Some books just go as typical as hell... why even bother somebody to go over them and read them?"
April 6, 2018 – page 88
23.91% "33 out of 118"
April 1, 2018 – page 88
23.91%
February 1, 2018 – page 81
22.01% "A writer who hides his mistakes by using complex words and trying to fool all.

...


Why every author is No 1 BestSeller?"
February 1, 2018 – page 81
22.01% ""Finger bones can be very small.”



“Looks like they’re from a baby,” he said.



“They’re from an adult. Infant bones are tiny indeed, and they wouldn’t be ossified—hardened into bone.”"

- It's a pointless... argument!"
January 24, 2018 – page 81
22.01%
January 22, 2018 – page 66
17.93% "Short Chapters."
January 22, 2018 – Shelved as: fast_view
January 22, 2018 – Shelved as: fast_read
January 22, 2018 – Shelved
January 22, 2018 – Started Reading"

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петък, 6 април 2018 г.

Review: 12 Strong: The Declassified True Story of the Horse Soldiers

12 Strong: The Declassified True Story of the Horse Soldiers 12 Strong: The Declassified True Story of the Horse Soldiers by Doug Stanton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

"April 6, 2018 –
50.0% "That's what one person needs to read this tory the more deeper you go the more interesting it gets.

Tactics and strategies of soldiers!"
April 6, 2018 –
50.0% "1:09:40"
April 6, 2018 – Shelved
April 6, 2018 – Started Reading"

- I was hopping for something more, it's not a bad book. If you are interested in what soldiers do... this book is a good choice, but if you are interested in something more deeper works like

Blacklist or Person Of Interest - This works can put you in deeper level, as for this book is what always happens on the surface. The trailer was promising something more than what the movie provided.

If you hate wasting time read 10-11 pages from the beginning and the last 10-11 pages read... of the story if it hooks you up okay... give a shot but if you lose a interested after this... it means this book isn't for you.




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Review: The Beekeeper No. 159

The Beekeeper No. 159 The Beekeeper No. 159 by Steven Piziks
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is amazing when we look at James Spader who is playing Raymond 'Red' Reddington, who is a gangster... and he is one of the brilliant ones. Not some kinda stupid jerk... but whole new level criminal.

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